I think for anyone, there is certainly a significant contrast.
Regardless of whether you're a pathological liar or someone committed to honesty, certain aspects and truths of our lives remain hidden, avoided or merely stretched and adapted into more suitable paraphrases. You may not be ashamed of your life, you may have no regrets even, but certain truths are often omitted whether it is for your benefit or for those with whom you interact. There's always going to be a point or scenario where a feeling of inadequacy (whether that's accurate or a reflection of insecurity) where adjustments of the truth of ourselves and lives are more appropriate or helpful. Of course I'm not saying that everyone lies constantly and there's always going to be a perfect exception, an anomaly to the rule. But where would we be without these white lies, these adaptations? Certainly nowhere completely different, but perhaps you'd have different friendships if you revealed that you kissed her brother, or attend a different university if you studied as hard as you told your parents you did.
I suppose to this extent, the contrast isn't that stark, most people only change or omit little things from the story of their existence, those things that may taint a stranger's opinion of you and cause the judgement you fear. As long as you don't create a whole fabricated world like Adam Sandler's character in Just Go With It.
For John Cheever, pretending that he was heterosexual was important in the time that he lived, so as not to break the law and continue to support his family through his career as a writer, which could have been a lot less successful, were he to admit to his homosexuality.
I think avoiding Adam Sandler's example is always a pretty safe move. But his film, Just Go With It, is an interesting example about the truth and lying; I know when I watch films where the characters falls deeper and deeper into a pit of lies will ask, why not just tell the truth? In those situations it's played for laughs (or cringes) but we do it in real life too. But why? Is it because it's easier to lie than tell the truth, or because we're ashamed of the truth? Or maybe a lie just sounds better.
ReplyDeleteEven someone that tells the truth 100% of the time isn't always going to tell the "truth" anyway. When recounting a story or giving an opinion we'll always have a bias view. Maybe we'll tell a story about creepy guy or some annoying teenagers, but in truth are they really creepy or annoying, or is that just the way we see them?