And I watch on helplessly, as the birds fly south for winter though they won't be coming back. The North is betrayed but strong, for East and West need both compass points.
I like the way this begins with 'And..' I feel like we have joined you mid-way through a pattern of thoughts, as though you want to bring us in straight at the most important moment. In the spirit of making every word count (SO important with these snatches of poetry) do you need 'though' on the second line? Consider the effect of removing it upon the delivery (and meaning) of that line.
I like the way this begins with 'And..' I feel like we have joined you mid-way through a pattern of thoughts, as though you want to bring us in straight at the most important moment. In the spirit of making every word count (SO important with these snatches of poetry) do you need 'though' on the second line? Consider the effect of removing it upon the delivery (and meaning) of that line.
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